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Monday, December 15, 2014

The Drunk and the Bicycle - Guest Post by Jesse Heikkila


Dawn was just awakening giving me enough light to glance down and notice I was already on my 13th mile. The air smelled like desert rain and lifesavers. The miles were flat and smooth and my mind was clear and bright. I was surprised by my progress. I was already on county road 233 and feeling like I had only begun. Thirteenth mile I thought to myself. For some reason it sorta vibrated between my ears. I'm not one for superstition but I couldn't shake the eery feeling I felt in my gut. Thats when I glanced in my mirror and saw him. Like a big metal billiard ball bouncing back and forth off of the rails searching for a pocket, he came rolling up behind me.

The air had seemingly changed as I could almost smell the alcohol on his breath and he was still about a mile back. I had seen this kind before. C R 233 was notorious for dusk until dawn, drunk driving. It never seemed to bother me much before even though I knew it was a hazard. This time was different for some reason. "Thirteenth mile" I said it out loud this time. My first instinct was to bail into the ditch and get as far off of the road as possible. But I couldn't. "This is my road" I hissed through quickening breaths. He must have been going slower than I thought because it seemed like he was taking forever. I was peddling my hardest even though I knew I couldn't outrun him. Getting too close for comfort now as I heard the gargling sound of the rumble strips. I hoped another quick rubber staccato would be followed by a sharp smash and a cracked telephone pole. No luck. He came back over to my lane and I knew I had seconds to spare. I did what any sensible person in my situation would do. I slammed on my breaks and came to a halt on the staggered yellow stripe. My rear tire was slightly elevated at the same time I was dismounting. As soon as my foot hit the asphalt, I was pulling off my hydration pack and reaching in for my Uzi. It happened so fast but in three short, well placed bursts, I lit his world on fire.

The fireball that rolled right past me, singed my eyelashes and kept going down the road until it hit a bunch of mailboxes and for the grand finally exploded. By that time I had already replaced my pack and was riding again. I popped in another lifesaver and chuckled. The sun was peeking over the horizon now and I took a long draw of water.

It's days like these that let me know I'm truly alive. 

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