Call Of The Sasquatch

Wooooooooooooo!

"Did you hear that?" "Yeah... yeah, that was definitely a squatch."

A pair of beatniks banter back and forth over their two-way radios like a couple of tweens on their first sleepover. A loud knock causes their celebration to come to an abrupt halt.

"Was that?" "Shhhhh.... just give it a minute."

They wait for several awkward moments - just staring off into the black distance.

"Man! Why does it always have to be like this?!" "I know! Gosh.... this site is definitely squatchy. There is absolutely no evidence to prove otherwise."

"If there's a bear in the woods, there could be a sasquatch. If a deer is eat acorns near a stagnant body of water, a sasquatch could be waiting in that water... for hours upon hours... unseen... waiting to eat that deer."

"It's an absolute shame that we have to go to a town hall meeting right now."

"Are you sure? Maybe we should leave one person behind to setup a tent and walk around aimlessly.... you know, just in case."

"That's a good idea. Someone has to get bitten by misquotes or we can't write this off as a business expense."

"Good call."

When the experts arrive at the town hall meeting, they're always surprised to learn that everyone who has lived in the area for over forty years has been abducted by sasquatches at least once in their lives. Some of the younger folks inevitably claim that a big hairy creature has been peaking in the windows of their double-wide trailers off and on for the past couple of years.

"The only way we can get to the bottom of these claims is to get these people to draw squiggles on a map and then go to the scene of the crimes."

"What crimes?"

"Did I say crimes?" "Yes." "Oh... I meant encounters."

The first thing the team does when they get to a sighting location is to conduct a scientific experiment. The tallest member of the team voluntarily walks to the exact spot where the woodbooger was spotted. He then raises his hand.... then lowers his hand. Then maybe raises and/or lowers his hand a few more times. After that, the resident giant uses his years of training to recreate the exact movements of the sasquatch that the subject spotted something ten or more years ago. The most impressive part of this process is that they always come to the same conclusions. 

"Did you hear that?" "Yeah... yeah, that was definitely a squatch."

A pair of beatniks banter back and forth over their two-way radios like a couple of tweens on their first sleepover. A loud knock causes their celebration to come to an abrupt halt.

"Was that?" "Shhhhh.... I'm going to take out my 2x4 blocks of wood and clap them together."

CLAP! CLOCK! KACHUNK!

They wait for several awkward moments - just staring off into the black distance.

"Man! Why does it always have to be like this?!" "I know! Gosh.... this site is definitely squatchy. There is absolutely no evidence to prove otherwise."

©2014 Marshal Hunter. All Rights Reserved.